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Quote Of The Year

With hurricanes, tornadoes, flooding, fires, severe t-storms and
earthquakes tearing up the country from one end to another, the quote of
the year is:

Jay Leno: "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the
Pledge of Allegiance?"

Lady Roana

Here's a chance for you to contribute.

There was a man whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:

Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?

Sincerely, Edna

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends. Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read,

Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must have been those thieving bastards at the Post Office.

Sincerely, Edna

Two men are sitting at the bar at the top of the Empire State Building drinking when the first man turns to the other one and says, "You know, last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building, by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the wind around the building is so intense that it carries you around the building and back into the window."

The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar, but says nothing.

The second guy says, "What? Are you insane? There's no way in heck that could happen!"

"No, it's true," said the first man, "let me prove it to you."

He gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony and plummets toward the street below. When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes the elevator back up to the bar. He meets the second man, who is astonished.

"You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but that must've been a one-time fluke. That was scientifically impossible!"

"No, I'll prove it again," says the first man as he jumps. Again, just as his body hurtles towards the street, the 10th floor wind gently carries him around the building and into the window. He takes the elevator back to the bar. Once upstairs, he successfully urges his dubious fellow drinker to try it.

"Well, what the heck," the second guy says, "I've seen that it works, so I'll try it!"

He immediately jumps over the balcony - plunges downward - rapidly passes the 11th, 10th, 9th, 8th floors ...his body hits the sidewalk with a loud "splat."

Back upstairs, the bartender who had been silent the whole time turns to the first drinker, and shakes his head. He says, "You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk."

Dear Mr God...

Andrew was reversing his car out of the garage when he saw his daughter Kathleen walking down the pathway that led to the main gate. She was dressed up and holding an envelope in her hand.

"Where are you going?" "I... I... am going..." Kathleen hesitated and then said, "Papa I am going to the post office." "Why?" "I have to drop off this letter." "Give it to me, I'll drop it off for you."

Kathleen hesitated for a moment and then handed over the envelope. Andrew placed it on the seat besides him, reversed the car out of the main gate and as he was waving to Kathleen drove off. He was getting late for the office and decided not to stop on the way. From the office he would send his messenger Billy to drop off the letter.

After reaching his office he rang the bell. As he waited for Billy to appear he casually glanced at the envelope. In a childish scrawl was written the following address:

Mister God Heaven High in the sky.

Andrew tore open the envelope and started reading:

Dear Mr God, This is my first letter to you. My Mama used to say that you love children very much. That you always answer their prayers. My Mama died three days after my seventh birthday. Till then I was very happy. But now I am very, very sad.

My Papa used to laugh and play with me when my Mama was there. But now he hardly talks to me. He is always very sad. He doesn't laugh and play any more. In the morning he leaves early and comes home only after I have gone to bed. Daisy Aunty says he has started drinking.

Please Mr God, I don't want to stay in this house without Mama. Please, can You send her back. If You can't send her back because she has already become an angel, then please take me away with You just as You took Mama away.

I am a good girl. You can ask Mama. I always do my homework, make my own bed and drink my milk. I will not bother You. Please Mr God, I will be waiting.

Love, Kathleen

Andrew read the letter not once but thrice. After a few minutes he got up and walked to his boss's room. He told him he wanted to leave for the day. After getting permission he walked out of the office, got into his car and drove straight to his favorite spot on the outskirts of the city. It overlooked a huge lake and at that time of the day was quite lonely. There, under the shade of the huge Oak tree, the one he and his wife Janet had nicknamed Grandpa Moses, he read the letter again and again...

He closed his eyes and thought about the events of the last nine months...

Janet had died in a road accident nine months ago. With her death his life had been completely shattered. Luckily Mrs Daisy, their close friend had been there to take care of Kathleen or things would have gotten more complicated.

After Janet's death, Andrew just didn't feel like going home. Every little thing in the house reminded him of his Janet and the moments they had spent together. He started leaving home early in the morning and working late into the night at the office. From there, instead of heading straight home, he would go to the nearby bar and start drinking. He would reach home long after Kathleen had fallen asleep.

He never spared a thought for Kathleen convinced that Mrs Daisy was taking good care of her. She had been with them for the last nine months and Janet had cherished her well as a friend.

Absorbed in his own sorrow, Andrew had failed to notice his daughter's loneliness. He had not realized that she was missing her mother as much, if not more, than he was missing his wife. Kathleen needed his love and affection. Mrs Daisy could hardly be a substitute for either Janet or even Andrew.

He looked at his watch. It was one. He had spent close to three hours under the shade of Grandpa Moses. He got up, carefully put the letter in his pocket and walked towards his car...

Six months later Kathleen was still in bed asleep. Andrew was about to wake her up when he saw the all too familiar brown envelope on the table beside the bed. Once again it was addressed to Mr God. He picked up the envelope and walked into the living room. He tore open the envelope, removed the letter inside it, and settling into a chair started reading:

Dear Mr God, This is my second letter to You. I know You got the first one. I want to thank You. Even though You didn't send Mama or take me to her, You did something, which is almost as good. You changed my Papa completely.

You know Mr God, I now sleep with him in his room, with his big and strong arms around me. My Papa tells me stories -- funny ones, scary ones, and sometimes lovely ones which are a little sad. In the morning we go together for swimming. He has taught me how to swim. In the evening we go for pizza. At night after dinner he takes me out for a ride. He has even stopped drinking -- You can check with Daisy Aunty.

Dear Mr God, thank you so much. You could not give me back my Mama but You have given me a brand new Papa.

Lots of love and kisses, Kathleen

Andrew stopped reading. A few minutes later when Mrs Daisy entered the living room with the breakfast tray she found Andrew sitting in the armchair his eyes closed, a crumpled envelope in his hand and tears streaming down his face.