I was born In Oshkosh, Wi. to Donald A. and Marlene J. Dettlaff on

February 21, 1956. I was baptized Catholic, but raised Lutheran as my

Dad didn’t go to church that often after a while.

   My Mother taught me to read and write before I started public school

which caused me some problems because I was a rebellious little brat.

In first grade I would get sent to the hallway for shouting out answers.

One time (after waiting for what I thought was too long) I left and walked

home.          In second grade I was made to print 100 times “I will not

write” after I refused to print in class, was told to put my head on my desk

(which I did) and carved a jack-o-lantern in the top of the desk with my

compass. Needless to say I had to stay after school and sand the desk top

so it couldn’t be seen. These and several other incidents made my parents

decide to send me to Grace Evangelical Lutheran School starting at third

grade.

   I had a much better learning experience there, but still my rebellious

attitude caused me problems. . I used to fight with my sisters on the way

to school a lot and would skip school to go to the park and hang out. In

fifth grade I refused to open a textbook, got slapped on the cheek and I

left to go hang out in the park. Two of my friends and I would skip classes

and sneak over to the church to “investigate”. Probably the only reason I

got away with so much is because around this time my mother went to

work to help pay the bills. I myself was getting 50 cents for every trash

can I changed, the bag in, at the local Dairy Queen. I also got to bring

home all the mistakes they made which made us kids REAL happy.

  While I was in Oshkosh High School (which was changed to Oshkosh

West High School in my senior year) I still would skip classes, but I found

“Back Stage” at the Oshkosh Civic Auditorium which was attached to the

school. I could see that I liked Math, Choir and Electronics because I

received A’s and B’s for grades, while the classes I didn’t like got me D’s

and F’s. I tried joining clubs like the Chess Club, Multi Media, Back Stage

and tried sports like the Wrestling, Diving and “Track and Field” teams.

While in my Junior year I worked for Ponderosa Steakhouse running the

dish washer. I was hanging around with the neighborhood kids that Mother

told me to stay away from, got caught shoplifting and was put on 1 year

of “Supervision” with the stipulation that I attend ALL my classes. 2 weeks

into my Senior year (Sept. 1973) I quit High School and went into the Navy

to avoid going to Kettle Moraine Boy’s Home for not complying with my

Supervision. Before the Navy would take me I had to take and pass a

G.E.D. test.

  In the Navy I went to Great Lakes Training Center in Chicago, Il. for

“Basics” and before I graduated got a letter from my “High School

Sweetheart” letting me know that she was going out with my best friend

at the time. When I came home on leave I tried to hang out with Neil

Booth, but couldn’t stand to hear him talk about Lynette Owens all the

time, since they were seriously engaged now I found excuses to stay

away from them. Then to Bainbridge, Md. for Radioman “A” school.

When graduation came close previous classes were going to Diego

Garcia or Greenland. I put in for “C” School. I never made it to “C”

School because I quit taking care of my personal hygiene and got a

“General Under Honorable Conditions” discharge. I stayed around

Perryville, Md. for a while, started going to church and got confirmed

Episcopalian. The Pastor of the Lutheran church I grew up in told me

“he would excommunicate me if I didn’t give money to the church”.

Here I was in Maryland and he wanted me to send money to the church

I “belonged to” in Oshkosh. I told him to “go ahead”. After I got confirmed

in my “new” religion the church bought me a bus ticket to go back to

Oshkosh.

  I went back to Oshkosh with nothing, but my gear from the navy. I didn’t

have any plans and stayed with my parents till they got tired of me and

told me I had to move. When I moved it was to a house that a friend’s

father owned. I was allowed to stay there so I could “fix” the electrical

wiring. It turned out to be a small community of 5 – 7 people who were

good friends and wanted to party together. We had all gone to High

School together and got along real good. Those who worked paid for the

electricity and water and those who didn’t did the cleaning, cooking and

other household chores. We were wild and crazy party animals who

managed (pretty much) to stay high. We would get everyone that

happened to be at the house to go into the street and line up like bowling

pins at one end while one of us would try to bowl them over from the

other end with a real bowling ball. That lasted the summer of ’74 till Bob’s

dad kicked us all out because we were not living up to our end of the

bargain. I then decided to Hitch - Hike to Kansas and visit my Uncle Kenny

and Aunt Dorothy. (I know, Dorothy in Kansas. Ha, ha, ha.) I got to Topeka

and found out Kenny didn’t live in Topeka, but in Overbrook, 30 miles

south. I guess I REALLY surprised Aunt Dorothy from the look on her face.

She didn’t recognize me and had no idea that I was coming. Here I was

after a lot of years with a full beard and moustache, long hair, in a “P”

coat, in the dark, on her doorstep. 

  My Uncle and Aunt put up with my ignorance about how life works and

tried to teach me what I had to do to survive in life. The first job I got was

washing dishes at Denny’s in Topeka. That didn’t last long because I was

late to work a lot from not catching a ride Hitch – Hiking. Then I landed a

job at Dillon’s grocery store. I quickly made friends with a coworker

named Paul who let me move in with him and his brother, to help pay

the bills. I got into “Pot” and found I could not work while I was high on

“Weed”. I got fired from that job because I would always go to the nearest

bar at lunch time and eat my food with a pitcher of beer. The manager got

mad at me and Paul for going over his head and complaining to the

owners about his son (and friends) not doing their jobs. The manager

followed me to the bar and watched me eat, drink a pitcher and shoot

pool through the big window. When I got back to work he informed me

that there was a rule against doing that and that I was “immediately

terminated”. I went home and Paul was there getting high and asked me

why I wasn’t at work. When I told him what happened he went to talk to

the manager and ended up quitting. Thinking that was a reason to

celebrate, we partied for a week and sometimes talked with the owners

of the store trying to get the manager fired.

  During this time I got to know Patrick and Virginia Martin who took me

on as one of their own. “Pa Martin” worked for County Maintenance

mowing along the county roads and highways. He taught me how to slow

down which I think led to my procrastination streak. It wasn’t long till I got

a job working for Bill Dillard Shows of St. Joseph, Mo. I became a “carnie”

from April to November of ’75. After we put the rides in “Winter Quarters”

I went back to Topeka with $1000.00 and stayed with Ma and Pa Martin

(and family).

  Soon afterward I met a friend of Jimmy Martin’s who was putting a sound

system into a dance studio. I started helping Steve and one day the owner

of the studio asked me if I had ever thought of becoming a Ballroom

Dance Instructor. I gave it a few days thought and research then told him I

would give it a try. With no place to stay and no income I went on Welfare

while I learned how to dance and teach. I lived in a little apartment in the

back of a house on the north side and walked Downtown across the

Kansas River to get to Domme’s Dance Studio so I could take my lessons.

It didn’t take long before I took the Bronze Smooth and Rhythm tests from

the United States Dance Teacher’s Association and started to teach

whatever students Joseph Domme gave to me. After a year Joe bought a

class “B” liquor license and built a club in the studio. I wound up being

the manager and Joe hired Nancy to be the waitress. When it got to be

too much for me with my students and studies Joe and I made Nancy the

manager. Once I got to know Nancy better we started going out together.

It wasn’t long till we were seeing a lot of each other outside of work. We

got married by one of the students of the Academy in the studio. We had

a reception in Topeka for our friends and one in Chicago for our families.

We took a short Honeymoon in Oshkosh and went back to work in Topeka.

After about one year I moved in with Mom and Dad, got a job working at

Paine Lumber Co. and rented a house. Then I had Dennis, who was

married to my sister Carol, fly from Chicago to Kansas City to drive and

help Nancy and myself move to Oshkosh. On the way the car broke down

so we got a tow bar and tried to bring the car back. On the way the front

driver’s side wheel bearing went out so we had to leave it. Dennis and I

went back to get it and it was gone. We checked at the Highway Patrol

office and they had no record of it being towed. We found it at a little

garage and found out that they had taken the wheel off and started

working on it without anyone’s permission.

  After a short time with Nancy and me working, I opened my dance studio

in the front room of the house. Once I sanded the floor smooth and put a

sealer on it I was ready to go. Didn’t have many students, but we were

able to take 2/7’s of the rent off our income taxes. When Nancy and I

started to fight almost every night of the week I went back to Domme’s

Academy of Dance to get away. I started waiting tables at “Top Of The

First Club” and learned how to cook tableside dishes in the beginning of

1980. I worked there for 2 years and then 2 years at “Topeka Country

Club”. It was in the spring of ’80 that I met Sherry Orlene Derby. I ended

up living with her for 4 years until I found out she had been screwing my

biker friends. In 1985 I left Topeka because the police learned to put a

name with my face on sight. I hitch-hiked to Texas and stayed in Amarillo

for a few months.  Then I moved on to Austin where I played and sang on

the streets by the university till I got a job at (of all places) a liquor store.

Even though I worked I still lived on the streets and played for the others

who lived on the streets till it got too cold.