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A Birth Certificate shows
that we were born.
A Death Certificate shows that we died.
Pictures show that we lived!
Have a seat . . . Relax . . . And read this slowly.
I Believe...
That just because two people argue,
doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,
doesn't mean they do love each other.
I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if
we understand that friends change.
I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.
I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.
I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with
loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I Believe....
That we are responsible for what
we do, no matter how we feel.
I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I Believe...
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I Believe...
That my best friend and I can do anything, or nothing, and have the best time.
I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you When you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.
I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I Believe...
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had,
and what you've learned from them.....and less to do with how many
birthdays you've celebrated.
I Believe...
That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I Believe...
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find
out a secret. It could change your life Forever.
I Believe...
Two people can look at the exact same
thing and see something totally different.
I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of
hours by people who don't even know you.
I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give, if
a friend cries out to you........you will find the strength to help.
I Believe...
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
I Believe...
That you should send this to all of the people that you believe in. I just did.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
They just make the most of everything.
Thank you God for all the wonderful people who help us throughout the journey of life..
TO MY CHILD
Just for this morning, I am going to
smile when I see your face
and laugh
when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning, I will let you
choose what you want to wear,
and smile and say how perfect it is.
Just for this morning, I am going to step
over the laundry and
pick you up and take you to
the park to play.
Just for this morning, I will leave the
dishes in the sink, and
let you teach me how to put
that puzzle of yours together.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug
the telephone and keep the
computer off, and sit with
you in the backyard and blow bubbles.
Just for this afternoon, I will not yell
once, not even a tiny
grumble when you scream and
whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon, I won't worry
about what you are going
to be when you grow up, or
second guess every decision I have made where you are concern ed.
Just for this afternoon, I will let you
help me bake cookies, and
I won't stand over you trying to fix them.
Just for this afternoon, I will take us
to McDonald's and buy us
both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.
Just for this evening, I will hold you in
my arms and tell you
a story about how you were
born and how much I love you.
Just for this evening, I will let you
splash in the tub and not
get angry.
Just for this evening, I will let you
stay up late while we sit
on the porch and count all the stars.
Just for this evening, I will snuggle
beside you for hours, and
miss my favourite TV shows.
Just for this evening when I run my
finger through your hair as
you pray, I will simply be
grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.
I will think about the mothers and
fathers who are searching for
their missing children,
The mothers
and fathers who are in hospital rooms
watching their children suffer
senselessly and screaming
in side that little body
And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold
you a little tighter,
a little longer.
It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for
nothing, except one more day.
May your troubles be less,
may
your blessings be more,
and may nothing but happiness
come through your door!
I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears.
But I can listen to you, and together we can seek answers.
I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain, nor the
future with it's untold stories.
But I can be there now when you need me to care.
I can't keep your feet from stumbling.
I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.
Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;
Yet I can share in your laughter and joy.
Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;
I can only support you, encourage you, and help you when you ask.
I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you,
But I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself.
I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,
But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces and put them
back in place.
I can't tell you who you are.
I can only love you and be your friend.
Author Unknown
The Play: Two little boys in first
grade were chosen to be the leads in their first school play.
It was to be a Shakespearean play.
The first little boy was to say,
"My fair maiden.... I have come to snatch
a kiss and fill your soul with hope."
The second little boy was to reply by
saying, "Hark!, a pistol shot."
Well, on opening night in the school auditorium,
the two little boys were a bit nervous, knowing that all the seats were going to be filled with grown-ups.
The teacher told them to take their places
on the stage and to remember to speak very loud as soon as the curtain goes up.
The curtain rose and looking out upon
the audience the two boys were terrified.
They stood there frozen.
So the teacher whispered for them to begin.
The first boy yelled out these unforgettable
words.....
"My fair maiden.... I have come to kiss
your snatch!
And fill your hole with soap."
The second boy screams out.....
"Hark! a shistol pot,
a postle shiss,
a pot of s--t,
this is bull s--t...
I never wanted to be in this lousy play
anyway...
The audience left howling.
"Take Time Out For Ten Things"
Take time out to work.
It is the price of success.
Take time out to think.
It is the source of power.
Take
time out to play.
It is the secret of youth.
Take time out to read.
It is the foundation of knowledge.
Take time out to worship.
It is the highway of reverence.
Take
time out to help and enjoy friends.
This is the source of happiness.
Take time out to
love.
It is the one sacrament of life.
Take time out to dream.
It hitches the soul to the stars.
Take time out to laugh.
It is the singing that eases
life's load.
Take time out to pray.
It helps bring God near and washes the dust
of earth from our eyes.
Do not allow others to make your path for you. It
is
your road and yours alone. Others may walk it
with you, but no one can walk it for you. Accept
yourself and your actions.
Own your thoughts.
Speak up when wrong and apologize. Know your
path at all times. To do this you must know yourself
inside
and out, accept your gifts as well as your
shortcomings, and grow each day with honesty,
integrity, compassion, faith,
and brotherhood.
The computer swallowed grandma.
Yes, honestly it's true.
She pressed 'control' and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.
It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.
I've searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind;
I've even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.
In desperation, I asked Jeeves
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found 'online.'
So, if inside your 'Inbox,'
My Grandma you should see,
Please 'Copy', 'Scan' and 'Paste' her
And send her back to me!
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store.
Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den
and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT:
Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO:
I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT:
What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO:
I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows.
I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something
I can use to write
proposals, track expenses, and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO:
Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT:
Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT:
Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT:
I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's
just say I'm sitting
at my computer and I want to type a
proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT:
Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO:
Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going
to click your blue "w" if you don't
start with some straight answers. What about financial
bookkeeping? You
have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT:
Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO:
What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes.
No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO:
Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you
a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT:
Click on "START".............
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